Workouts and a Vent.

There is no place like home! (Unless you are in Aruba). Not going to lie it has been nice sleeping in my own bed and getting back to my usual gym/eating routine. Monday morning I had a great spin class taught by one of my favorite instructors, Erin. I love her classes because you are DRIPPING wet after. It was my first spin class in about a week and a half and I definitely felt it! 

So I recovered by the pool....

Today I got back to running and it felt great! I don't know if I was more excited to run or wear my new shorts from under armour that I got in Myrtle Beach. 

After about 45 mins on the treadmill I was really annoyed because my sensor read I was 296 and increasing rapidly. However when I tested my blood about 5 mins later I was happy to see a much better result....

Clearly the sensor was not working its best. 114 though, #winning.

However lately I have been really frustrated. I feel like no matter how hard I try I do not have control. The past week was rough because I was away, but even still I felt I had done everything in my power to control my blood sugar in a "good range" (80-150). Taking injections does not bother me, what bothers me is that I feel I try so hard only to be frustrated with higher levels more often than I would like. It's not like taking a pill and being done for the day (or an injection in this case). 

Every endocrinologist visit I have to get bloodwork done to check my a1c which is an average blood sugar over the past 3 months. Ideally it would be nice to have it at 7.0 or below, but I have struggled with it being 7.5. I eat right and exercise on a daily basis and it is just really frustrating! Don't get me wrong, I know things can be A LOT worse and I very fortunate, but it is hard to feel like a number defines me. Everyday I try and be positive and tell myself it is a new day and that I will have a good day without lows or spikes, but that rarely happens! 

Should I stop working out and doing what I enjoy? It would probably make my blood sugar a lot easier to manage because I would just have to worry about sitting around from one meal to the next. Sometimes I feel like its a lose lose situation because I am doing what is supposed to be "healthy," but still struggle with blood sugars. 

I dream of being able to take "days off" and go for my annual Aruba vacation and leave Diabetes at home. Just take 2 weeks and not have to worry about what my BS is and promise to come back. 

I keep hearing "we are so close, so close" but are we really? 

Anyway enough of what I feel is like a doomsday post. I promise the next one will be less depressing lol.